again

quarrel again... just because of lunch.

sunday also quarreled.

sick.

sick of this life

Today mum shouted so loud in the morning, probable 6am..
damn sick of this shoutings..
why can't she just talk slowly and peacefully?
I just didn't wash 2 fucking plates!!!
I had enough!
I wanna move out!!
My projects are already making me sick. now another problem come..
DAMN IT!!

By The Way,
I had dinner with yayank..
She cook it 4 me..
but her chicken wasnt cooked so i fried it again..
hampir eat raw meat..
hahaha

last words.

although im ur bf, but i cant feel any happiness, u scold me whenever u like, an wei me whenever u like. besides that, i can't make you happy too. You have high requirments, you want perfect guy, I'm sorry I'm not the one that you want. I tried to change but I still cant make it. We r not cocok. We have different xing qu, we cant be happy together, we quarrel often. I think its better that we become friends

keksim

I feel fucking keksim..
I tried to "an wei" you.
but what you said was "BU YAO CHAO LA!"

Imagine if you were me,
I said that to you,
How would you feel?

I can't feel happiness already,
I struggle everyday.
You think that I'm someone you can scold and release your fustration.
I know sometimes you threat me good, but its only SOMETIMES.
not EVERYTIME.


Everytime when you're wrong, you say you are correct. And I don't wanna list any examples already, I'm sick of it.
When I'm wrong ok.. its my fault, sometimes even though you're wrong but I still say I'm wrong.
I ngalah aja..

Wait till you come back from Iowa, then I'll decide what should I do.

I don't know

At the beginning,
She was good to me,
and I was good to her.
We shared our stories together,
We support each other,
We motivate each other,
We gave love to each other.

As times past,
Troubles came.
She became cold,
but I kept trying.
Till one day I finally got her,
I promised myself to threat her well.
But things ain't that simple,
After giving all I can do,
She seemed unsatisfied.
I tried to change to be the perfect boy she wants,
but she doesn't want to change to be the girl that I want.
Is this selfish or she have her own thoughts?
God knows.

We quarrel,
that's normal to all the couples.
Maybe she did nothing wrong,
All its my God damn fault.
Sometimes I'm right too,
but I had to surrender.
Is this called gentlemen?

Despite all the sadness,
we still have happiness around us.
We watch movie together,
We play together,
We eat together,
We study together,
We teach each other,
We joke around each other.

Tension increased between us.
She started to lost trust in me.
Sometimes I feel that she doesn't appreciate me,
But she says that I don't appreciate her.
I have a dream,
that one day we can live happily with no arguments,
and no disagreements.
I hope that we can live like Sid and Nancy,
feel happy together,
feel sad together.
I feel that wishes are lies.
Every time I have a chance to wish,
I'd wish for happiness between us and no sadness.
It seems that wishes are lies,
and I'm not gonna trust wishes no more.

There's a thing that both of us probably lack of,
that's UNDERSTANDING.
God, do u agree?
Chance, Chance, all I want is chance to prove that I'm hopeful.
Yes, she gave me chance.
MILLIONS of chances.
but I'm the fuck up who doesn't know how to appreciate.
Sometimes I consider suicide,
sometimes I consider drugs,
But its not gonna help.
I only wish that she could understand me,
and my situation.

Fortune teller said that this is a bad year for me,
I don't believe at first,
with all the problems coming like running water,
I got no choice but to believe a little.

What a long story.

depressed

bad luck comes and never stops!
i have quarel with mum, i dono why she kept blaming me altough its not my fault..
second day,
i had a quarel with chelle. - again but since a long time.
she was wrong but she still thinks she's correct.
i took her SPM results for her n solve her problem, but she didnt even say a god damn THANK YOU!
ridiculous.. i might consider to help her again.
im really really sad..
im thinking of a break up..
what can i do??
haizzzzzzzzzzzz