I don't know

At the beginning,
She was good to me,
and I was good to her.
We shared our stories together,
We support each other,
We motivate each other,
We gave love to each other.

As times past,
Troubles came.
She became cold,
but I kept trying.
Till one day I finally got her,
I promised myself to threat her well.
But things ain't that simple,
After giving all I can do,
She seemed unsatisfied.
I tried to change to be the perfect boy she wants,
but she doesn't want to change to be the girl that I want.
Is this selfish or she have her own thoughts?
God knows.

We quarrel,
that's normal to all the couples.
Maybe she did nothing wrong,
All its my God damn fault.
Sometimes I'm right too,
but I had to surrender.
Is this called gentlemen?

Despite all the sadness,
we still have happiness around us.
We watch movie together,
We play together,
We eat together,
We study together,
We teach each other,
We joke around each other.

Tension increased between us.
She started to lost trust in me.
Sometimes I feel that she doesn't appreciate me,
But she says that I don't appreciate her.
I have a dream,
that one day we can live happily with no arguments,
and no disagreements.
I hope that we can live like Sid and Nancy,
feel happy together,
feel sad together.
I feel that wishes are lies.
Every time I have a chance to wish,
I'd wish for happiness between us and no sadness.
It seems that wishes are lies,
and I'm not gonna trust wishes no more.

There's a thing that both of us probably lack of,
that's UNDERSTANDING.
God, do u agree?
Chance, Chance, all I want is chance to prove that I'm hopeful.
Yes, she gave me chance.
MILLIONS of chances.
but I'm the fuck up who doesn't know how to appreciate.
Sometimes I consider suicide,
sometimes I consider drugs,
But its not gonna help.
I only wish that she could understand me,
and my situation.

Fortune teller said that this is a bad year for me,
I don't believe at first,
with all the problems coming like running water,
I got no choice but to believe a little.

What a long story.